The past few days were interesting. There was happiness, pain, fear, apprehension, and revisiting of old traumas. At some point, I know I have to be braver than I was last year. I need to learn to surrender while simultaneously regaining control of my life. Take back my power. Transcend these heavy emotions. Name my fear. Spell every letter like a child just learning to read. Shout them to the world if necessary. Bury them in the pages of my notebook. Do whatever it takes to be able to breathe again with hope and not doom.
The narratives we tell about our lives are powerful. They shape who we are, who we will become, and how we remember the past. Words are powerful. They can reshape the entire story of our lives.
I don’t want to dwell and take back the old energies of the past. I am here now. Present. Against the moving tides of time.
There will be times I will get carried away. The fear of drowning will sink in. But I know amidst this surging wave of confusion, there will be hands that could pull me up to a safe harbor. I am not one for faith, and of faith but I believe in intuition. There are reasons beyond my understanding. I am not here to explain. I am here to learn and to share. To witness and feel everything with you. To be life’s emanation like all of creation.